Posts tagged black marriage
True Heart of a Man

In my new book, Dudoir Confessions, I present six different men in six different types of relationships. I think it will be something interesting for women to see because I actually modeled the characters, their personalities, and incidents in their lives after real things that have either happened to my muses or men that I know. I used things that my muses told me about themselves, how they see relationships, how they view women, and what we all do wrong in relationships.

In writing this book, I honestly feel like I am somewhat of an expert because I have brothers and over twenty five male cousins. I have been around males all my life who have given me the real and told me what to look out for in men.  In relationships, often times we think everything is okay because a man is talking to us and telling us things, however, we should only take the words coming out of their mouth for face value.  By nature, men are creatures of action. Communication and talking doesn't mean as much to them as it does to women. To prove this theory, all you have to do is watch little kids. If you go to the playground and look at little children, you will find the little girls huddled somewhere having conversations while the boys are running, kicking, and jumping around. For the most part, males are not talkers. Now, we do know that one man that can talk a female under the table, but he's the exception to the rule, and definitely not the norm.

Once again, men show you how they feel about you through their actions.  When you are with someone, you have to ask yourself, do the words he's saying match up with what he is doing? If they don't match, then you need to go with the action. You don't go with words because obviously this man is telling you what you want to hear. He can tell you anything.  It's what he shows you.  An example would be: you are dating this man, he texts you and calls you throughout the day, but you only get to see him late at night. He hardly takes you anywhere, or not at all, and you haven't met his friends or family, but he manages to come to your house late in the evening to "Netflix and chill".  He's not showing you off and basically, it's a you and him relationship, that's not a relationship.  He's basically showing you what you are . . . a booty call or a person he calls when he's done with whomever else he is messing with.

Women are naturally hopeful and we often choose to look on the bright side of things, when in reality, we should be keeping it real with ourselves. He can text and call you all day and still have a woman that he's with.  Again, it's what he's showing you.  Women often fail to realize what is right in front of our face.  So, part of this novel focuses on the fact that we have to pay attention to a man's actions and what he does. Men are show and prove type of creatures. As women, we see the signs and we don't necessarily ignore them, but we are afraid to call men out on what we feel like they were doing wrong.  We can become insecure and be afraid that the man will think that we are crazy or being insecure. I would rather him see me as being insecure for a moment, than to be walking around worrying about what he's doing or to feel like I'm being played. I have learned that, no matter how good of a man he is, you must follow your instinct and ask questions. No matter how hard asking those questions may be. If you see something that isn't right, ask.  You have to learn the truth for yourself.  Trust . . .but verify.

I also want to show that woman can ruin a man.  Bad relationships ruin men just as much—if now more—than they mess up women.  I actually think they mess them up worse because men are more sensitive. When they love a woman deeply and she hurts them, it will make it ten times worse on the next person. Women suck it up, we get over, we may even do something petty, but eventually we move on.  Bad relationships stick with men longer.  Those memories flash back just as soon as you do something that reminds him of the woman who broke his heart. Men don't forgive as easily, so if they've had a few bad relationships, they group us all into the same category.  I'm not saying it's right . . .but it's what they do.

Dudoir Confessions is a book for the ladies.  It shines a light on the innermost thoughts of men and how they view relationships, their children, love, and even the mistakes that they make. It will even show the hard reality that, you may be the most amazing woman in the world, but you can't change a man.  He won't change until he is ready. He may do some things to get you off of his back, but he will end up resenting you if the change is not something that he does for himself. Women are nurturers who want to save the world, and not even children can make a man change unless he has the desire to be a better person. I hope that in this book, women can get a better understanding of the men in their lives and the single men that are out there. They love just as hard as we do, and believe it or not, they hurt even harder. Check it out on February 2nd.

Where Have You Gone?

What do you do when the one from which you draw your strength suddenly becomes weak? How can you hold on when the person who always has your back seems broken beyond repair? I need G. I need him like to come back from the dark place that his mind has taken him and be the man he once was.  He's still in there...I can see him in the depths of his eyes.  I wish I could understand what he sees...hear what he hears...breathe what he breathes. I want to know what's going on inside his head. What has him so...lost? The tears flow like the mighty Mississippi. What snapped? What caused the damn to break? What drove him to the edge? What has him hiding in that place? How long will he be gone? I need him...like a plan needs the sun, like air and water. He's my nourishment. The center of the world. Keeping us grounded like gravity.

Where are you? Where have you gone? How thick is this forest that you're wandering through? Sometimes, there appears to be a clearing in the trees, giving you a moment of lucidity.  Are there birds that will sing to him? Their melody providing a soundtrack to lead him back to us.  Does he hum along? Can he hear my voice in their song? I see him there, so close, yet still beyond my reach.  My hand is outstretched to him. He retreats into the trees. He's pushed to the bring...teetering on the edge.

Whose plan was this? Why does my love have to suffer? He's magical...like a mythical phoenix. And like that bird, he will rise from these ashes victorious and renewed. Come back to me my love. Whenever you're ready, I'll be right here waiting. Come back...I need you.