Posts tagged God
Let It Go…
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What is one behavior you need to let go of?

Immediately, I knew the answer to this question. Worry. Worry plagues me. It is the grim shadow in the corner, waiting to swoop in and take over my thoughts. Worry stands over my shoulder casting an ominous shadow over the checklist of tasks I have in my head. Worry engulfs me in needless anxiety and is probably the sole contributor to my high blood pressure. Why do I worry, you may ask? I’m educated, employed, financially secure, and happily married. I shouldn’t have any worries…right? Life happens to us all, but for me, worry is a constant in my life. It is something that I fight against every day and a flaw that I’ve vowed to put an end to this waste of energy and inner peace.

What is worry? Worry is to give way to anxiety or unease. Worry is to allow one’s mind to dwell on difficulty or troubles. Worry is a state of anxiety over actual or potential problems. The first thing I’ve had to do is get to the source of what causes me to worry. I could blame it on a couple of things; past experience, life traumas, disappointments and failures. Honestly, those things are not the source. The reason I worry so much can solely be attributed to my need for control. I have come to realize that I do not want to ever feel weak or out of control. When a situation arises that I do not have total control over or could possibly cause an issue in the future, my habit of worrying kicks into over drive.

Worry is counterproductive. It doesn’t do anything except cause me anxiety. It floods me with bad thoughts of “what ifs” and “worse case scenarios” when it is better to either take action or allow the chips to fall where they may. I cannot plan my way through every life situation. I can only continue to live my life, save my coins, and raise my children while tackling the challenges as they come along. I have a plan and a strategy for breaking the chains of worry in my life and starting fresh.

Instead of worrying, I will be more productive by writing out my thoughts, strategizing, practicing relaxation techniques, praying, meditating or exercising. Lastly, I plan to increase my faith. Lack of faith is a current struggle of mine. So many things have happened to me in the last few years that have caused me to not have hope for certain situations changing in my favor. That’s a post for another day. Right now, I am choosing to focus on the fact that I can no longer remain imprisoned by my thoughts.

Today, I release all feelings of worry and dread. I let go of the bad thoughts and will allow myself to live life with the understanding that I am fully equipped to handle anything that comes my way. Why? Because I have all the tools I need to succeed in life and adapt to whatever may come. I pray that this post helps someone who may go through the same thing.

Peace and blessings to you all.


When He calls...

I am often asked how can I be so sure that I've made the right choice. What makes me so sure about my decision? Why don't I have doubts when there is no light at the end of the tunnel and I seem to just be fumbling around in the darkness? Recently, life has pulled me in so many directions, it has been difficult to keep up with my blog, social media, or even offer a daily encouraging word, because I was still trying to figure out what I want to do. Then this morning, it all seemed to make sense. All the questions in my head disappeared, and the reason for my being came to me crystal clear. No, it wasn't what I expected...not even close, but the beauty in it is that, the reward in the end will be greater than I can fathom. This post is actually the first step in my transparency. In showing the world who I am destined to be, and no longer being ashamed of what I carry inside of me.  The thing that has haunted me for the past thirty-five years. He asked me a question...and I had no answer. What could I say? How can I tell Him that all this time, I have been a afraid? A coward of sorts. Wanting to have it my way, yet cling to Him in the shadows. No more. My life was so at peace before. When I was dedicated to His purpose and living my life as He would have me to. In reality, I made this bed, but unlike so many others, I refuse to lay in it. It's time to put away childish things. Time is short. This world will soon be no more, and I cannot continue to struggle...

God will let you know exactly where He wants you to be. I waved my white flag of surrender today. I'm done. My legs have grown tired and I can run no more. His steps were deliberate. How you ask? Well, here it goes:

1.) He spoke directly to me. In the form of a minister, telling the young people how to break the chains of generational curses, to live different, commission themselves to a life of purity, and to guard themselves against attacks of the enemy. In seeing the youth singing today and speaking, it hit me...they need you. This is where I want you to be. (See I had been contemplating going to another church because it seemed more hip) If you're a believer, you know His voice and when you hear it, you have the assurance and peace that no one around you can understand.

2.) He will allow things to fall into place. You see, I was determined to go to the other church I had visited. I even started an argument with my husband because he didn't want to. I threw a tantrum and told him I would just stay home, brother-in-law texted and said he was staying in today. Well, the decision was made for me. It all fell into place and an understanding came over me because if not for that, I wouldn't have made the decision that I did today. I mean, I walk in the door of that church and I want to shout. That doesn't happen at the place I wanted to go.

3.) He will send you a messenger. The youth sang one of my favorite Christian rock songs. Like, besides my son, I was the only one in the audience who knew the words. Afterwards, the leader was timid, but one of the musicians asked me to join the praise and worship team. You see, no matter how much you think you're hiding, your gifts will come forth and God will make you use them for Him.

4.) His word will give you the answer.  God used Esther, Deborah, Bathsheba, and countless others to reach His people. I want to be among them.

5.) He will close one door and open another. Sometimes, in large churches, you can get lost in the midst of those who are competing for positions and power amongst the congregation. I don't want that. I want God to use me to change people's lives. To influence others to live for Him and give Him their all. I like intimacy, closeness, and the feeling of family. That's what I came from, and that's where I will feel most at home.

I pray this little revelation has helped you as much as it has helped me to write it. For so long, I took the things that people who called themselves Christians and held them against God. I blamed Him for allowing those people to scar my heart, so I refused to fully commit to His will. Silly me. My rebellious spirit is no match for the Creator. Be blessed everyone, and never allow the pain and bitterness of others to make you continue to fight against what God has for you. The whooping He will put on you isn't worth the small feeling of power you may feel.