What is one behavior you need to let go of?

Immediately, I knew the answer to this question. Worry. Worry plagues me. It is the grim shadow in the corner, waiting to swoop in and take over my thoughts. Worry stands over my shoulder casting an ominous shadow over the checklist of tasks I have in my head. Worry engulfs me in needless anxiety and is probably the sole contributor to my high blood pressure. Why do I worry, you may ask? I’m educated, employed, financially secure, and happily married. I shouldn’t have any worries…right? Life happens to us all, but for me, worry is a constant in my life. It is something that I fight against every day and a flaw that I’ve vowed to put an end to this waste of energy and inner peace.

What is worry? Worry is to give way to anxiety or unease. Worry is to allow one’s mind to dwell on difficulty or troubles. Worry is a state of anxiety over actual or potential problems. The first thing I’ve had to do is get to the source of what causes me to worry. I could blame it on a couple of things, experience, life traumas, disappointments, and failures. Honestly, those things are not the source. The reason I worry so much can solely be attributed to my need for control. I have come to realize that I do not want to ever feel weak or out of control. When a situation arises that I do not have total control over or could possibly cause an issue in the future, my habit of worrying kicks into overdrive.

Worry is counterproductive. It doesn’t do anything except cause me anxiety. It floods me with bad thoughts of “what ifs” and “worse case scenarios” when it is better to either act or allow the chips to fall where they may. I cannot plan my way through every life situation. I can only continue to live my life, save my coins, and raise my children while tackling the challenges as they come along. I have a plan and a strategy for breaking the chains of worry in my life and starting fresh.

Instead of worrying, I will be more productive by writing out my thoughts, strategizing, practicing relaxation techniques, praying, meditating, or exercising. Lastly, I plan to increase my faith. Lack of faith is a current struggle of mine. So many things have happened to me in the last few years that have caused me to not have hope for certain situations changing in my favor. That’s a post for another day. Right now, I am choosing to focus on the fact that I can no longer remain imprisoned by my thoughts.

Today, I release all feelings of worry and dread. I let go of the bad thoughts and will allow myself to live life with the understanding that I am fully equipped to handle anything that comes my way. Why? Because I have all the tools I need to succeed in life and adapt to whatever may come. I pray that this post helps someone who may go through the same thing.

Peace and blessings to you all.

🖤🖤Susa🖤🖤

I've had the last few days to just relax, not think about work and troll the internet since a virus had me bed bound. The more I scrolled, the more I saw a trend...women, climbing the ladder, reaching the top, and proclaiming their prosperity. On one hand, I think it's an amazing thing; women making a name for themselves and carving out a world where they are equally successful as their male counterparts.  But, on the other hand, it kind of makes me sad.  Why? When I think back on my childhood memories of my mom, the one thing that stands out the most was that she was always working. Basketball games, track meets, awards ceremonies, plays, church events...she was always working. I never had the pleasure of having my own mother cheer me on, and on senior night, one of my aunts would fill in.

It's kind of like being successful in career and business has been added to the list of pressure already applied to the requirements of today's women. Be pretty, be smart, be sexy, have your own, be famous, be a mogul, etc., etc. It's as if being a mother and a wife have disappeared.  Like catering to your husband and family are no longer a part of a woman's vocabulary.  I know, the feminists will probably attack me, but I just want to be great to the people who matter to me most.  I just want to do things in the order that it’s intended. Not that working and having a career is wrong, it's just the fact that I know that, in all of this, the children suffer. (Let's face it, currently, it takes two incomes to raise children half-way decent) I was there too; continuing to educate myself, standing on the rungs of the corporate ladder, and striving to make a name for myself in the field, but I am grateful that I’ve had a change of heart.  When I sit down and evaluate everything, my degrees, my position, a title, or the initials behind my name don't mean a thing if I'm not using them for the betterment of society.  My heart's desire is to be the best; wife, mother, and sister I can be, and none of that requires me to have a PhD, make six-figures, or have thousands of followers.  I'm trying to get there...slowly but surely. If being on top is what you desire get your money, as for me, I'm okay staying in my own lane and being my own competition.

🖤🖤Susa🖤🖤