Strictly for the Ladies #10: Word is Bond
Here we go again ladies. You've met this man, he's growing on you, you like him, and you think you may even be falling in love. He's proven himself in so many ways. He's the one. By now, you've pretty much decided whether or not you're going to allow him to stick around. But, hold on, wait. There's more. "What else is there to look for?" you ask. He manages his money, he's respectful, and ambitious. He treats you well, wants to have a family, and even believes in monogamy. All of that may be wonderful, but let me ask you something, "Does he keep his word?"
Ok, now that you've picked your lip up off the floor, let me explain what I mean by that. When he tells you he's going to do something, does he do it? When he makes plans, does he keep them or does he cancel for one reason or another? Can you trust and believe that everything he's told you so far is true or have there been signs that he's lied to your about small things here or there? I don't know about you, but the natural observer in me pays close attention to not only a person's actions, but the words that are coming out of their mouth. I hate being lied to or patronized. Like, it causes this demon to rise up and want to hit you with a powerful punch like Mike Tyson. Yeah, liars make me angry, but subtle liars are even worse. To me, if you'll tell me a lie about something small, I most definitely can't trust what you have to say about something important. In general conversation, play close attention to things that change or explanations that don't seem to add up. Trust your gut. If something seems like it's not quite right, it probably isn't.
Why is it important that your man keep his word? Why does it matter if he has to cancel plans? I'll tell you. Each time a man tells you that he's going to do something and he doesn't follow through is a let down. What's so bad about that? Things happen...shouldn't I be more understanding? Yes and no. There is a difference between being understanding, and being naive. Sometimes as women, we feel like we don't want to pressure a man or make him feel like we are being demanding. I can tell you that this approach will lead you to heartache quicker than holding him accountable ever will. Holding a man accountable for what he tells you and what comes out of his mouth, shows him that you aren't just some quick and easy fix, that he can tell any lie to and you will believe it. Calling him out when he misspeaks or asking for details on something that doesn't sound quite right is your duty as a woman. Especially if you have children. Think about it, do you want to devote your heart to someone who will disappoint you and your children. Do they deserve that? Nine times out of ten, they have probably been disappointed enough...and so have you. In closing, I judge a person by their ability to keep their word. If you are flaky, always have excuses, and you never follow through on anything that you proclaim from your mouth, then you can expect that eventually, you will become a non-factor in my life. I have no time for liars. Also, as a parent, I never promise my children anything unless I follow through with it. Even something as small as a trip to the Dollar Store is an important enough event for me to make sure that I take them when I say I am. There is enough disappointment in life to not have to deal with it constantly from someone you are in a relationship with. I'm not saying that things don't happen, or that issues don't arise in laugh that may cause you to have to change plans, but if it is a consistent part of a person's character, it has no place in my life. Be careful ladies, and always trust your gut.